So, about that meltdown. It was pretty harsh, I was pretty hard on myself and tore myself to shreds. I’m a dick and I know it, but I’m also learning how not to be.
I’m not ashamed of the fact that I suffer from depression, or that it affects me in ways you aren’t even aware of. But I am also kind of fed up of being the darkness in my own life so I’ve started making changes. I’ve started doing life differently and you have no idea how much better I feel about it. It isn’t a big secret, but I want to share what changes I’ve made with you in the hopes that if you too suffer from self-loathing that you’ll find your way out too.
Have you written your affirmations yet?
I had this Post It note plastered across my notebook for the longest time and for the longest time I did remember to write them down. That stopped for about a year until I resumed this little habit each morning. I had to for the sake of myself and society.
Affirmation reciting or writing is pretty easy too, just write out (or say it while you’re in traffic) what you want for yourself, what you want for your life and how grateful you are that you are you. I found this site to be a fantastic starting point for positive self-worth affirmations, and you really don’t have to be elaborate at all.
Man, how can you not take me seriously with a title like that? Kidding. I’m really serious about meditation and it is thanks to my husband. We have worked meditation into our bedtime routine and it is making the world of difference in my life. The irony of this is that I’ve already ghost written 2 eBooks on meditation and didn’t take any of what I wrote to heart.
It takes all of ten minutes and I really do love the rat-race shut down at the end of my day. We sit on the bed together in a candlelit room with no distractions (this is the challenging bit with 2 demanding kittens). I didn’t write this one, but here is a great resource on how to meditate and achieve relaxation and mindfulness.
When you feel really poorly about yourself, you don’t put much effort in to anything. That’s why I forced myself to make an effort and it made a difference. Say what you want, but there is something about looking really put together that helps you feel really put together. They kind of go hand in hand, which is why when you make the effort it pays off. At least this is the case for me.
So, I started doing a series of deconstructed #OOTD that I share on Instagram and I do really wear the outfit I share. Accessories, make up and perfume along with the occasional kitten that wanders into the shot. It all goes into my daily routine. I’ve also finally undone the rat’s nest of a mom bun and started curling my hair again – it’s nice to feel nice.
Feed me Seymour
So, eating broccoli isn’t my thing but I don’t want to undo all of the work I’ve done by diving head first into a Krispy Kreme. That being said, I am by far less militant about what I’m fuelling myself with. I eat a 90% squeaky clean diet and allow myself a 10% nasty feast. It’s my way of maintaining my sanity and continuing my journey to a healthier me.
Also, your body does amazing things when it is being nourished by food that is not only good for you but tasty too. Win – Win!
Get by with a little help
I’ve ditched taking other supplements for a bit while I get my body back into gear, but because my serotonin levels were pretty shocking I am supplementing that. I’ve started taking Solal Burnout and Stress Repair along with a pro-biotic designed to realign the you that’s out of whack.
It might be a placebo effect or legitimately working well, but I feel incredible. It isn’t a chemical overload of antidepressants and I don’t feel like a zombie on them. Best of all, I’m not depressed anymore and I’m learning how to be less of a dick to myself.
If you have anything to add to this post, pop me a comment below!
Thanks for stopping by,