Fliping the switch

The other day I was talking to a dear friend of mine who has asked me to help with her weight loss journey. After she sent through her before photos, she launched into a tirade of negative comments about herself and her body and it made me sad. The familiarity of her self-loathing ticks so many boxes that we all have and it made me want to flip the negativity off-switch.

This blog post has taken a while to go live, I’ve written it a few times already and edited it a ton. I’ve ignored it, deleted it and then started again. I don’t know why it’s taking so long to get this post out, it’s not like I’m confessing who my crush is online or anything (it’s PC). I think that being so swamped at work is a good reason why I keep procrastinating, but it isn’t. I can make time to admit that I am wrong and that I’m off the wagon. So, I’m off the wagon, guys.

sdrYou know the familiar tinge of playfully insulting yourself (before anyone else does it, right?), we laugh about not being able to fit through a door, for jiggling thighs, blotchy skin, {insert choice insult here}. We joke about insecurities that no one else notices and justify it by passing it off as humorous. Why do we do that? Why do we bring ourselves down so brutally and is this only a woman thing? Are we so obsessed with what society considers acceptable that we cut out the middleman and bring ourselves down?

I recently asked my PC to take my before photos again. I feel that it is important for me to document my journey and it’s an amazing way of tracking progress. The difference this time was that I didn’t look at the photos at all, I didn’t see what my weight was when I stepped on the scale and I have no idea what my measurements are. Why did I do that? Why would I go through all the trouble of finding cute undies and good lighting if I don’t even know what I look like?

Simply put, I don’t need anymore reason why I should be unreasonably hard on myself. By denying the little bitch in me the satisfaction of seeing those pictures gives ME the power to focus on the positive aspects of why I took those pictures to begin with. To add insult to injury, PC had the scale set to lbs, which doesn’t really help those on the metric system.

I’m struggling to wake up at 4am in the morning again, it’s tricky because I am so damn exhausted. Again, I’m using every excuse that I can find to justify my inability to thrive. Ironic because that’s all I want for everyone else, I just want them to thrive. I just want to see their success and happiness and celebrate that with them. Kind of stupid that I don’t seem to want that for myself, right? But I do, and that is why I’m flipping the switch on being so negative about myself, about my journey and flipping the switch on teasing my insecurities. I’m changing the way I talk about myself and you should too! sdr

You should let go of the anger and resentment that you feel about yourself. You’re worth more than being the butt of a joke, even if you think your butt is a joke. You’re perfectly imperfect and your flaws are what make you stronger. I need to remember that, you need to remember that and we need to celebrate how we thrive!

Watch this space, but until then I’m on social media here and here.



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