You might think that the picture shows my weight loss transformation, but it’s the total opposite – I’ve gained all the weight back.
This post isn’t to shame myself or get sympathy, rather, I feel compelled to warn new weight loss journeyers against the desperation of going about it the wrong way.
Once upon a time, Sleek Geek changed my life. I lost close to 30+kgs with this support group, clean eating and exercise. Guys, I felt amazing but didn’t quite realize the progress that I had made. I thought that I was still overweight and couldn’t celebrate my achievement for what it was – instead, I kept looking to what I thought I needed to achieve. This was my first mistake.
Fast forward to this crazy, mad idea that I needed to get stage ready. This isn’t a bad thing, and a lot of amazing transformations have happened on a public stage through competition, and a lot of amazing women have changed their lives by chasing this goal. I wanted that goal and I convinced myself that I’d never be attractive, successful, happy, etc. until I achieved this goal.
By now, you’re probably thinking that this chick could REALLy get to the point, right? Well, here it is. I was so desperate for being what I thought was acceptable, healthy and happy that I started doing some really, REALLY stupid (and dangerous) things to get there.
I shaved my daily calories down to 900 per day. I convinced myself that I was huge and that training twice a day was the only way to live. Because of my crazy, mad idea that I was enormous, I started taking supplements that you can’t find at Dischem… (I don’t do that anymore). Yes, a lot of those really, REALLY buff babes you see on Insta probably take these supplements too – they also know angles and poses. I didn’t realize this when I was at my “ideal weight”.
So, what happened? Well, I couldn’t maintain living with bleeding gums, exhaustion, hair falling out and constantly being miserable – so I started binge eating. Then I’d punish myself for being so weak because how badly did I really want it? Then I’d binge again.
Spoiler alert – going from 900 calories a day to 900 calories per meal isn’t great for the waistline. I blamed everything and everyone else for my relapse, for not reaching my goals and everything in between. Again, this obviously isn’t healthy and doesn’t get results, just opens you up for more self-pity and excuses.
So, where to now? I’m SLOWLY coming to terms with my bigger size again, and I know I can lose the weight – this time I’m doing it safely. I’ve got an incredible coach in my corner (Kayla Van Rooyen) who is patient, but not letting me rest on my laurels. I’m starting over and that’s okay.
My message to anyone else who feels like they’re failing or have failed – it’s okay. You’ve been given the opportunity to try again, take it.
Thank you for reading this long ass post. If you made it to the end, you deserve a perfect avocado kind of day! ❤