Guys, I am a terrible friend. It’s true! I am so wrapped up in my own world that I forget to connect with the people who matter to me the most.
I am insanely fortunate to have a circle of friends unlike any you could imagine. They are fierce, fabulous and they’re mine. Each one is completely different to the next, with their own amazing personalities and I love each of them with all my heart. So why am I such a bad friend? Easy, I’ve forgotten that they need me too.
I’ve gone through a lot over the past year, and I’ve shared my struggles very openly. I’ve always had someone who had my back and took for granted these strong, independent woman needed somebody to have their back too. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t completely ignoring the fact that they were there, but I completely let life take over and that’s why I suck.
I believe in having lots of besties, I collect besties from all over the country. I’ve got a work bestie who I share a matching tattoo with. A Cape Town bestie who I’ve only ever met in person once (but I feel like we’re basically twins), I have a pinup bestie who I’ve spoken to for years and some I have only learnt to speak to now. They each have this amazing ability to make me feel important and powerful because of how strong and powerful they are.
I was reminded very recently that even the strongest women, need a shoulder and I’m sad that the shoulder they turned to wasn’t me. I used to be really good at being a good friend, but I became better at being busy. That broke my heart.
A week later I discovered something heartbreaking that I wasn’t there for. This amazing soul had been there for me through everything, but I didn’t take the time be there for her. I’m noticing a pattern here – I’ve let the wrong things become a priority in my life. It has been so long since I’ve seen any of these incredible women in person, it’s been so long since I’ve spoken to them that I’m not even sure if we’re friends anymore?
It got me thinking, how often do we put off being there for somebody else when they need us? How often are we truly there for those who need us? Think about it, if we die tomorrow what kept us busy today isn’t going to come to the funeral if what’s keeping us busy isn’t important in life.
I learnt a valuable lesson last year when my cousin passed away. It was so unexpected that it reminded me to be more presents and live for there now. To focus on what’s important. But here we are months later and I am back to old habits.
I’ve decided to add an item to my daily to-do list. I want to reach out to my friends once a week, I want to speak to my family who I don’t see very often and to make time for those who make time for me. I want to be a better version of Cashé for those who make me a better person.